Healthy Alternatives to Fast Food

First published in Better Health: July Edition

As our country becomes more developed and fast paced, we are increasingly relying on dining out and less on home cooked meals. This trend carries a number of unhealthy possibilities with the potential for obesity and disease such as heart disease as well as diabetes high blood pressure, stroke, heart attack among others.

While many fast food outlets use terms such as “fat-free”, “low carb” or “low calorie” on several of their menu items, these options are often not that much healthier than the regular menu.

What is unhealthy about fast foods?

While the calorie and carb content is unhealthy, it is not the biggest health issue with fast foods.

Processed Meals

Many items on a fast food menu are often chemically processed with plenty of additives in the food. This is done to preserve shelf life and keep the consistency of the items which have to be kept on hand en masse to serve an increasing demand for these items while adding flavour.

These additives are detrimental to your health and your waistline and can cause ailments such as heart disease, diabetes and high cholesterol. The chemicals used to process the food from their natural state are often synthetic and take a longer time to digest so remain in the body for months.

The body cannot use these chemicals and additives to maintain its function, therefore, much of these items end up in fat deposits or even in organs in our body such as liver, kidney and colon where they can do damage to our health.

Fat and Salt Content

Fast food diets are full of fats as well as salts and are depleted of any nutritional value that has the potential to support the work of the body. Because fast foods are designed to satisfy a present hunger and an immediate craving, the priority is often not to prepare food that is both tasty and nutritious.

The high content of poly-unsaturated fats are contributors to damage in artery walls and of the metabolic system. The act of padding out much of the menu items with breadcrumbs, corn flour, processed potato, processed egg and milk products together with hydrogenated vegetable oil, saturated fats, gum, sugar substitutes makes these diets quite unhealthy to be adopted on a regular basis.

Healthy alternatives to fast food

Combined with lack of exercise, long-term use of fast food is detrimental to our health. Living fast paced lives, that are often sedentary, we rob our bodies of nutrients and mobility it needs to remain healthy.

We do not have to submit to this any longer. We can determine to live healthier lives and move step-by-step to improve our quality of life. It is a lifestyle change that may need to be adopted but it will mean a healthier, happier you.

Diet

This calls for us to get back to basics. We need to include more foods in our diets that are in their natural state or as close thereof as possible. For example, we need to have more organic cuts of meat and more fresh fruits and vegetables. This is so much trouble you may say. However, we say your health is worth it and we have several markets island wide where you can purchase fresh fruits, vegetables and meat from our local farmers.

Of course this would require us to home cook our meals more often. But if you create your meal plans ahead of time, this is not as problematic or inconvenient as one would be led to believe. Focus on eating the right type of foods more than on counting calories.

Lean cuts of meat are great alternatives to the unhealthy fast food options.

Exercise

A daily walk on the beach, a plan at the gym, a personal trainer; whatever you can afford in terms of time and money, make getting more active a priority to complement the healthier eating.

Our health should be our number one priority for without it no amount of money in the bank or luxury car or house will make our quality of life better. Therefore, we should take the time to avoid unhealthy options such as fast food and implement healthy practices such as organic and fresh foods while incorporating a more active lifestyle.

How to Maintain a Healthy Colon

Your colon or your large intestine is 5-6 feet long and facilitates the expulsion of waste from your body. It is essential to ensure that your colon is healthy and operating as it should as this is the key to improving your body’s health.

There are several steps such as a healthy diet, rest and an active lifestyle that will assist in developing and maintaining a healthy colon.

What to look for in a healthy colon

As the colon becomes healthier there are certain signs in your body that will indicate such improvement.

• First of all, you will be eliminating waste more effectively. Some folks eliminate once to twice a day or more which is a great sign that your colon is healthy. Look for a big bowel movement in the morning and a smaller one later in the day.
• Secondly, it will take 18 to 24 hours for food to move through the system to become waste and to be eliminated. One test you can use to determine if this applies to you is to eat beets in a meal as the red colour will show up in your bowel movement. Once you eat the beet, note the day and time eaten and expelled.
• Another sign of a healthy colon is clear skin. Blemishes and spots will be lessened as the waste that often causes these disorders is expelled in a timely fashion leaving your system clear and clean and reflecting this on your skin.
• Your breath will be mild as the chemicals in the stomach that can cause bad breath are milder due to the timely elimination of the waste that can aggravate said chemicals.
• Your stool will be soft often in a tube shape. Of note there will be no mucous or partially digested food in your stools as a healthy colon will facilitate the complete digestion of food before elimination.

How to develop the healthy colon

Diet

This is essential as much of the processed foods we eat damage our system because our colon is unable to break down the chemicals.

It is best to have an organic and balanced diet with fresh slabs of meat which are sources of protein such as poultry, fish, beans and whole grains. Also avoid red meat as much as possible.

Include many vegetables and fruits in a variety of colours as this gives your body access to as many nutrients as possible and helps your colon as they are natural and easier to process.

Increase your fibre intake and your water intake as this helps usher the food through the system and helps in the digestive process. Calcium is a great way to avoid colorectal cancer and maintain a healthy colon.

Exercise

Keeping active helps all the body’s functions to remain healthy and operational. For example, Exercises like sit ups and crunches strengthen the muscles needed in the pushing of the waste and toxins out of the body.

Get active, Get a Healthy Colon

Exercise on a whole improves the blood flow through the body including the intestinal tract which then strengthens the colon for its role in the elimination of waste. Exercises of note that help with the improvement of colon health include walking, running and other aerobic exercises as well as yoga.

A healthy colon is an essential piece to the puzzle of good health and well-being. We encourage you to start with these natural steps of developing a healthy colon.

The Importance of Colon Cleanse to your Health

First published in June 2012 edition of Better Health Magazine by Nation Publishing House, Barbados.

Eliminating waste is essential to maintaining a healthy body and mind. Any retention of harmful substances can lead to ailments that can shorten or reduce our quality of life. This article, which is the second part of our cleanse your physical mini series, deals with the colon.

What is the Colon?

The Colon is an instrumental segment of the digestive tract, a group of organs that

Taking care of your colon is essential to your health.

facilitates the flow of foods and liquids through the body from consumption to elimination. Measuring about six feet long, the colon moves waste material from the small intestine to the rectum.

The small intestine removes the nutrients from our food to distribute to the body and passes the waste to the large intestine which is also known as the Colon. The waste is then moved to the rectum to be released.

Why Colon Cleanse?

The waste that is built up in the colon after a time is full of bacteria and other harmful toxins. Therefore, it is essential to rid your body of it. A healthy colon will facilitate the elimination of this waste otherwise there are a number of ailments that may occur.

One needs to cleanse the colon to reduce the chances of sickness. As the colon moves the waste to the rectum, it may absorb water and harmful toxins that then have negative effects. The undigested foods and liquids can then enter the blood stream causing ailments such as fatigue, headache, weight gain, low energy levels and even cancer among others.

How to Colon Cleanse?

If you have lived your life eating correctly, the chances are of a proper cleansed colon increases. However, with current lifestyles and diet the need for colon cleanses increases. There are a variety of methods one can cleanse your colon.

1. Diet – Our food affect the way or digestive tract performs especially the colon and changing from a diet rich in junk foods can help with the cleansing process. Gradually move to a diet that is rich in raw vegetables and fruits.  These contain the vitamins, minerals and other nutrients needed to enhance and boost the work of the colon such as fibre. Adding whole grains also provides the fibre need to stimulate the function of the colon. Lessen the amount of processed foods you consume as these are high in the harmful toxins that can harm the colon and cause the ailments we are trying to avoid. Eat less red and processed meat to reduce your risk of colorectal cancer and avoid excessive alcohol consumption.
2. Teas – There are a number of herb teas that possess the enzyme that can naturally promote colon cleanse. They act as all-natural laxatives but should be used occasionally due to their strength. The teas detoxify the body while supporting digestive health and wellness which has positive benefits for the whole body. A variety of concoctions of these herbs can eliminate waste while fortify the ingestion of nutrients into the body from the foods we eat. Most herbal tea cleanses are strong therefore, should be taken for no more than two weeks.
3. Powdered or liquid supplements – Diet alone may not help cleanse the colon therefore, requiring the use of a number of supplements. The supplement may be taken orally or by rectum to push out the contents of the colon. Enemas, laxatives and anti-parasites are great ways to supplement the work of a healthy diet or cleanse the colon as you transition from a diet full of processed foods to a more healthy and organic meal plan.
4. Colon Irrigation or High Colonics – This is the infusion of water into the rectum by a qualified therapist to cleanse or flush the colon. Warm, filtered water is slowly released into the colon through a tube. This water causes the mucus that lines the colon to contract and pushes the faeces out into a closed waste system. This is a faster process of eliminating the waste in the colon and rectum and should be used with care and consultation with a qualified colon hydrotherapist. There is discomfort experienced by the client but the therapist may massage the abdomen to facilitate the process and lessen the uneasiness.

The Effects of the Colon Cleanse

The colon cleanse has many benefits for those who use it. First of all the toxins and

A diet including fresh fruit and vegetables help with keeping the colon clean.

parasites that can be so harmful will be removed from the body. This will help the body to be more vital and restore some of the energy that can be drained.

A surprising benefit is the ease of the central nervous and immune systems through a cleansed colon. The fewer toxins that enter the system, our chances for conditions such as anxiety disorders are reduced and are immunity is boosted as more nutrients enter the blood stream.  Keeping our colon clean reduces the chance that we develop cancers such as colorectal or stomach cancer.

The improved digestive process also boosts our weight loss ability. Many times much of the unhealthy weight that we carry is due to the excessive amounts being held in the colon. Once the colon starts processing the waste at optimal speeds, the retention of waste is reduced and we are better able to maintain a healthy weight.

Conclusion

It is therefore, essential that we maintain healthy and clean colons, based on the benefits of doing so. We must enhance any colon cleanse we perform by maintaining an organic diet, keeping ourselves hydrated; avoid smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.

A healthy colon keeps us on the path to overall health and well-being. It is a vital portion as we seek to improve our quality of life by improving our physical, mental and spiritual health.

Take Charge of your Family’s Holistic Health

Family plays an integral role in the health and wellbeing of an individual. However, many times we leave our health and that of our families to fate instead of being proactive. Many times we say, I will start exercising next year or I will improve my family’s diet when I get the chance or we will spend more time together eventually.

These are all essential elements to making our families happy and healthy so don’t put them off for next year or some time or eventually; start incorporating them into your family’s life now.

Quality Time Together

This is important so that your family’s bonds and relationships are allowed to grow through

Don’t delay take charge of your family’s holistic health today.

sharing activities and memories that can bring people together. Whether this is through prayer, playing sports, watching movies with each other, take the time to do things together. This time is proven to be good for the heart and helps to bring balance to your life by taking you out of the stress of a hectic lifestyle to spend time with your support system.

Healthy Diet

It is nigh impossible to achieve the lofty goal of a healthy self on a diet that is not balanced. Rates of chronic diseases that are linked to diet and lifestyle such as High Cholesterol, High Blood Pressure and Diabetes are on the increase. These can be prevented by reducing your high fat, high sugar content and increasing natural and organic elements such as fruits, vegetables and fresh cuts of meat into your family’s diet.

Plan your family’s diets to include more home-cooked meals and less processed and fast foods that while filling are low in nutritional content. This will allow you to ensure your family’s foods have the vitamins, minerals and other nutrients it needs to function correctly and remain healthy,

Exercise

Encouraging your family to be active whether it is through playing sports at school or joining a community sports club or gym has a variety of health benefits for the whole family. By exercising your family is being proactive in their health and wellbeing and taking steps to improve their quality of life.

Firstly, exercise fights against diseases such as high blood pressure and heart disease by keeping the heart muscle strong. Secondly it controls weight and releases the pressure being overweight would have on your heart and joints. Furthermore, regular exercise improves mood and leaves one in a more balanced mental state with boosted memory and ability to sleep.

Freedom of Expression with respect

Allow our families the ability to express and be themselves free from judgement within the family setting. If there is correction to be done, surely this will be done with love and respect. Many of the mental and spiritual imbalances seen our people are due to esteem issues that hamper our happiness and the ability to be our best selves. This is manifested also in physical ailments and harmful activities that we submit ourselves to as we search for validation.

All these elements allow your family to grow spiritually, mentally and physically in a way that is encouraging and healthy for them. We all want our families to be happy and healthy. Let’s not delay working for this goal because family is essential to our own survival.

Finding Wellness in Barbados

This is the excerpt of an article written for MyDestination.com/Barbados. Visit the website by clicking here to read the entire article.

Vacations are meant to give us a temporary respite from our hectic schedules and sometimes stressful responsibilities. We visit places of historic significance, such as our Historic Bridgetown and its Garrison , or relax on one of the beautiful beaches to cool our heads and bring some serenity to our lives.

Having a holistic holiday or fitting time into your vacation for a range of holistic treatments or a spot of wellness in Barbados will not only enhance your enjoyment, but it will allow you to return home refreshed and balanced in body, mind and spirit.

Reflexology and Breeched Babies

This is an excerpt from a blog we wrote for MyDestination.com’s Barbados Blog. Please visit their blog here to read the whole article.

Reflexology, a Complementary Therapy, uses massage to areas of the ears, hands and feet to restore balance to an individual’s body, mind and spirit. Pressure is strategically applied to the areas that correspond to specific organs and body systems to stimulate balance and healing.

The Foundation of Reflexology

There are areas on the hands and feet that directly correspond to specific organs and glands. For example, the tips of the toes reflect the head and the intestines and lower feet are influenced by spots closer to the heel of the foot. Therefore, these areas are known as “reflexes” and massaging them will release any stress or negative effects in the corresponding area.

The Experience of Reflexology

 

Reflexology has been a source of healing for many centuries and can even be used to complement conventional medical practice. It has been used to ease the effects of ailments such as asthma, diabetes, headaches and is believed to improve organ function. All this is accomplished as reflexology relieves the stress that is often the root cause of these illnesses. Additionally, it is also used as a preventative method to keep our bodies functioning as they should.

High Time for a Liver Cleanse

It is the time of the year when we fast and “give up” aspects of our life whether drinking, smoking, junk food or even TV and music. This is done to cleanse and refresh our emotional and spiritual selves.

The Liver, Stomach, Gall Bladder and Pancreas all benefit from a liver cleanse.

Persons also take this opportunity to cleanse their homes and be rid of all the clutter that crowds our living space. This is the first in a mini-series that shows how we can cleanse our physical and leave us revived and refreshed.

The Liver Cleanse

The liver is vital to the removal of chemicals, alcohol, pollutants and other toxins such as drugs, ammonia and metabolic wastes from the bloodstream so that the heart has a pool of oxygenated blood to pump through our bodies.

Depending on the foods we eat, the drugs (prescription and over the counter) we ingest and even the impurities in the water we drink, our liver can become filled with harmful toxins.

This slows the work of the liver and has a knock on effect for our other organs such as the heart and the lungs while leading to illnesses such as Anxiety, high or low blood pressure, dry skin, digestive disorders, stress, depression or weight gain.

To address these issues there are a number of steps that can be taken to perform a thorough liver cleanse in order to return this essential organ to its full potential.

Fasting

This is an essential portion of the liver cleanse process. This allows the liver to flush many of the accumulated toxins while not adding any additional toxins to the equation. For the first two days of the fast, consume only water and fresh fruit. Herbal teas can be added in longer fast so that it is not as harsh on the body as a full-fledged water only fast.

Detox

There are several detox products available that are used in conjunction with the fasting segment of the liver cleanse. These are to support and accelerate the removal of the toxins from the liver. A natural option for detox would require you to fast for three days previous to starting the detox, consuming fresh fruit and water. To start your fast you may incorporate a mixture of Epsom Salts, Virgin Olive Oil, fruit juice with Vitamin C or a similar organic liquid to take once a day for a given period of time for example, 2-5 days.

Diet

A major factor in the toxin levels of our liver is a diet that is terribly imbalanced with

There are some natural herbs and teas that can be used to detox the liver.

chemically processed foods and drinks. After the fast and the cleanse, it would benefit us to introduce ourselves to a more balanced diet that includes eating fresh salads and vegetables which have enzymes that aid in the cleansing of the liver and digestion. It would help to avoid fried and junk foods in our quest to reduce the amount of toxins entering the liver.

Supplements/Support

To support the work of the liver cleanse, one can also add a supplement to your daily intake. There are several options available that work naturally to assist the cleanse process. For example, incorporating Milk Thistle into your diet is an established way to help facilitate liver function. Based on the Milk Thistle plant, the supplement is known to help prevent and repair liver damage. The benefit of Milk Thistle is that it is organic, which softens the harsh effects of a liver cleanse on the body. Dandelion root is also a great supplement that supports proper liver cleanse. Both of these supplements can be taken in herbal forms.

Benefits and Effects

The benefits to cleansing the liver, especially after a regime of harsh drugs or a lifetime of junk food, are countless. A cleansed liver leads to healthier skin, better digestion, mental clarity, blood sugar control and immune boosts among other bodily functions that can be damaged due to high levels of toxins in the liver and blood. This leaves us healthier, happy and more energetic to pursue our daily tasks.

During the liver cleanse, you may experience headaches, nausea, fatigue, allergy or flu-like symptoms, acne, confusion, weakness, yeast infection, swollen lymph nodes and similar ailments. However, once the toxins are cleared from your system these symptoms will dissipate naurally.

The Liver is an essential organ and without its proper use, the body will suffer. Take this time as you  remove clutter your home and spirit to cleanse your liver.

First Published in the April 2012 edition of Better Health Magazine – A Nation Publishing Co. Ltd Publication.

All you need to Know about Reiki

Have you ever been so stressed or drained that you feel continuously unhappy and unfulfilled. This feeling left unchecked can lead to mental and physical ailments such as depression, cancer and heart disease.

One does not have to remain in this energy drained state. There are several steps one can take to overcome this before it becomes detrimental to one’s health. One such step is to have regular Reiki Treatments.

What is Reiki?

Reiki is a form of stress reduction and relaxation that stimulates your body’s

Woman having reiki treatment

natural healing qualities. Pronounced Ray-Key, this technique is a Japanese treatment which translated means spiritually guided life energy, addressing the energy which is all around us and keeps us alive.

The concept is that the therapist “lays hands” on you to adjust your unseen “life force energy” which may be in the need of some rejuvenation, thus causing the imbalance we are feeling emotionally and physically. Reiki helps to bring balance and harmony to body, mind and spirit.

The Healing Qualities of Reiki

Reiki is a spiritual healing therapy that addresses and relieves many illnesses such as pain, asthma, sinusitis, anxiety, and the effects of stress among others. It is a great therapy to use in complement to other forms of Complementary Therapy and even Conventional Medicine.

It is also a technique that can be used as preventative method. Therefore, you do not have to wait until you become ill to use it to balance yourself. Reiki can be used to bring your body, mind and spirit into alignment before any illnesses manifest themselves.

It is a powerful yet gentle means of healing which balances energies, organs and glands in the body. The benefits can be seen in the strengthening of the Immune and endocrine Systems and other bodily functions.

Apart from these physical benefits, the receiver of Reiki develops a greater sense of self-awareness, is more creative and is released from blocked and repressed feelings. Reiki also strengthens your time of meditation and empowers greater positive thinking.

What happens during a session?

During a session the Therapist is a catalyst to the rejuvenation process of one’s life force energy. He or she will traditionally transfer Reiki energy to the client using the hands.

You remain fully clothed and are positioned on a chair or message table. Throughout the session, the therapist places his/her hands on areas of the body that correspond to the position of the Chakras. Each spot receives about four to five minutes of attention. The therapist may spend more time on areas they deem as problematic or return to them once they have covered the rest of the body.

Each person’s experience of Reiki is different. One person may feel nothing, while others have jerking of muscles or develop a range of emotions such as happiness or sadness. Allow yourself to experience it in the way your body feels best. Don’t force the emotion or reaction but also do not suppress whatever wants to erupt.

The effects of the Reiki session may present for 2-3 days and may range from a feeling of lighter energy to relaxation and relief to nothing at all.

Reiki can be performed as regularly as daily. This may not however, be possible due to busy lifestyles; it may be more feasible to have treatments on a monthly or bi-monthly basis.

If you would like more information or to set up a treatment feel free to contact The Merkaba Centre by email themerkaba@hotmail.com.

 

All You Should Know about … Chakra Re-Balancing

The Chakras the portion of your life-force that regulate the flow of energy in your body.

The current lifestyle of the human being is stressful and ripe with elements that may cause us to feel emotionally, spiritually and physically out of sync. In order to regain and maintain an optimal level of balance, it is important to intermittently have our Chakras balanced.

What are our Chakras?

The Chakras are the areas of our body which regulate the flow of energy. The Chakras are not a part of the physical body but are an essential part the life force. The Chakras absorb the energy of our thoughts, feelings and the aspects of our external environment, feeding this into the body. All feelings and emotions including stress are connected to specific Chakras and can cause them to spin incorrectly causing mental, spiritual and physical imbalance.

There are thousands of Chakras identified by the original Hindu tradition, however, there are seven main identified in practice.

1. The Crown Chakra which is located at the top of the head.
2. Third Eye or Brow Chakra which is located above and between the eyebrows
3. The Throat Chakra is found at the base of the throat.
4. The Heart Chakra – situated at the centre of the chest.
5. The Solar Plexus Chakra located just above the navel
6. The Sacral Chakra found just below the navel.
7. The Root or Base Chakra which is at the base of the spine.

Origins of Chakra Balance

Chakra Balance practitioners most likely will not touch you physically as they are operating in your life force or aura.

Chakra Re-balancing is based in Hindu and Buddhist traditions and was first mentioned in the Vedas (Hindu texts of knowledge) which were written circa  2,000 – 600 B.C. These writings are based on centuries old oral traditions which were now being recorded by Indo-European travellers known as “Aryans”.

Chakra is a Sanskrit for “wheel”, “turning” or “disks” often thought to represent the wheels of the chariots driven by the Aryans. Another representation is the portrayal of celestial order and balance.

How a Chakra Balance Session works?

At the beginning of the session, the therapist will have an assessment to determine your needs and then proceed. Below is a list of the things you can expect during a session:

1. Comforting music is often used to augment the atmosphere for the total release of healing. However, you can request silence if you so desire.
2. The therapist will light candles to boost the healing energies in the room and help create a tranquil and encouraging atmosphere.
3. You will be placed on a therapy couch or table and covered with a blanket for your comfort and warmth while remaining fully clothed. Your therapists will strategically place his/her hands at areas near the chakras along your body to help bring them back into alignment. Most sessions will last about 60 minutes.
4. Most therapists don’t actually touch you physically as they are operating within your aura or life force rather than the physical realm. If your therapist does have the hands-on technique ask for them to show you the hand placements ahead of time so that you know what to expect from that specific session. You should let the practitioner know if you have had any surgeries recently so that they can avoid touching you in any particularly sensitive areas.
5. The therapist’s hands can feel either warm or cool during the session.
6. Your experience of the Chakra re-Balancing session may be different from that of others. As the Chakras are balanced, the respective emotions may be released causing crying, laughter or even pain relief. Most common response has been the feeling of peace and relaxation.

Getting your Chakras Re-balanced carry a number of benefits such as pain relief, easing of other physical, mental and spiritual issues. Therefore, it is essential to get our Chakras Re-balanced to keep ourselves in optimal health.

Relationship Conundrums and Simple Suggestions

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Nelson Mandela

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” is an internationally recognised saying used to explain the differences between men and women that make us seem worlds apart. These differences are no more apparent than the reactions males and females have while in relationships. The reasons that elements of the opposite sex drive us up the wall are wrapped up in the physiological differences that are not meant to separate us but seem to have that effect anyway.

No need to yell to get your point across just speak in a way he understands.

Are you confused that your wife continues to bring up issues from previous fights in current arguments? Do you wonder why your husband can’t remember that one thing you told him to get at the supermarket?

Right-Brained vs. Both Hemispheres

Men are modal, women are emotive.  In the initial stages men are going to deal everything from the brain and women from the heart. He will be thinking about all the necessary ways in which to solve the problem while she will be feeling her way through the problem.  Men tend to rely on the right portion of their brain while women more often utilise both hemispheres.  A women’s use of both hemispheres means that she can regularly focus on more than one problem at a time. Women tend to see things as interwoven and connected and therefore have the ability to connect aspects of previous fights with current arguments. Men will compartmentalise allowing them only to focus on one thing at a time. This is why your husband may forget to pick up the bread from the store if he was in “work mode” or watching his game, when you communicated with him.  These details affect the way we think and solve problems in our relationships.

Women, ask for one thing at time and be specific, then wait for that task to be completed before asking for the next. The timeline on his completion may not be the same as yours.  He will get it done but only at his speed. Remembering this will allow for a lot less frustration. 

Communication

Men use speech as the way to negotiate and preserve their independence. Men interrupt women’s desire to talk about problems as a request for help in solving the problem rather than a way to get closer. Women see talking and sharing with their loved ones as a way to solve problems, explore, strengthen and deepen their relationships. Women believe this is a way to build intimacy in the relationship and knowledge of each other. Women see talking about their troubles as a way to forge the connection between her and her partner. You share your problems, I share mine and we grow closer.

Women, if you would like a response equal to one that you would give, ask your man what he is thinking not what he is feeling.  Men ask a woman what she is feeling and you will come out a winner.

Women rely more than men on non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and tone to communicate their feelings and desires. Women communicate to build rapport while men generally do so to report facts therefore, non-verbal cues are often missed as men take language literally and focus on what you say more than how you said it.

Women, tell him want you want.  This way he can and will please you, which is all he really wants to do. He stays a winner and your needs are met.

Decision-Making

Men are said to be more analytical and logical in decision-making. The tendency is to put aside their emotional connections to a situation in forming a decision. It is believed that women tend to be more intuitive and holistic in their approach to decision-making. Therefore, they will consider the full extent of the situation and all its interwoven aspects and trust their instincts in the course of making a decision.

Women don’t try to build intimacy in your relationship with your spouse in the way you would with your girlfriends. Guys understand that when your lady is speaking, it’s not for the sake of it; she is trying to form a connection with you and show that she feels close to you.

We can’t and should not attempt to change our partners.

Men have a completely different language to women and it is in understanding this that we are able to create healthy relationships. When we understand what we have just heard, it no longer becomes personal and we can move forward with the appropriate response or reaction.

The purpose in identifying and understanding these differences is to develop healthy long-term relationships. The sooner we try to understand the differences in communication, the quicker we will be able to build strong relationships.

 We can’t and should not attempt to change our partners. We should however accept and understand who they are, how they operate and their motives.

Are you having relationship issues that seem to be impairing what you believe could be the relationship of your dreams, or turning a relationship with the partner of your dreams upside down?? Why not consider talking to a relationship coach, who will look at the overall situation and give you tools to correct occurring obstacles and give a potentially fabulous relationship the opportunity to blossom. This way everyone in the relationship feels that they are being heard and understood. When each party’s love tank is full everyone gives of their best!!!!

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed.  Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day.

First Published in the February Edition of the Better Health Magazine by Nation Publishing Company.